What Do You Do When You Hate That B#*@*?


Aloha beloveds,

We are just giddy with this question because

We are just feeling right on course

For what it is that we need to say

And it is a subject that so needs to be addressed

And we are surprised in a way that we have not addressed it before

Because it’s as if there is an idea that hatred

Is not in the providence of “spiritual growth”

It is the idea that hatred is not useful

In expanding the experience

And the possibilities

For humanity and beyond

It is as if hatred is a wart or an outgrowth

If some shadowy dualistic redheaded stepchild

And one can always offer that hatred is in opposition to

The truth and the love and the divine spirit that you are

But none of this can discount the power of hatred

And if we are ever, as the great collective of life

To move beyond war

Then we must give honor to hatred


Now many of you have perhaps been spared the hatred that arises

From the great injustices against races,

Against peoples

Through genocides

Through specified violence

And many of you have not


But we’re going to wrestle with the one that is perhaps more common

Especially now, the way you are all moving through love with one another

Coming to new horizons, exploring in new ways

Some of them expansive

And some of them deeply painful

So many attempts at fluid boundaries

That feel more like infidelities


So bottom line is,

What do you do when you hate that bitch?

What do you do when you hate that motherfucking asshole

That cheated on you?

No matter what gender they may be?

What do you do with those kinds of feelings?


You can elevate your consciousness

You can channel collectives

You can spaciously love one another

But there are no models for how to deal with the power of this feeling

Except to eschew it

Or rise above it

Or shame it

To claim that you know you are loved and therefore

How can you be affected by anyone’s behavior?

And while that is divine truth, it is not the visceral experience of the body


And the very few, the tiny tiny tiny tiny percentage of humanity

That has ever reached that state…

We have to believe it is not a useful model

Because only those few have ever done it

That state of such utter self-divine connection that they are capable only of feeling love


So what do you do when you hate that fucking bitch? (laughs)


The first thing we want to say

And “honor” is too light of a word

Is that we invite you to celebrate that emotion

We invite you to celebrate the depth of its passion

That you have loved so much, so deeply, so imperfectly

That this threat to your perfect imperfect love has all but destroyed you

Celebrate, if you will, the profundity of your focus

And your desire for something at such depths

That the wrenching away of it from you

Causes you to spiral


And from that place, now, you can honor it correctly

For the moment, don’t spin out of your perspective

For the moment, don’t spin around and understand the bigger picture

What your life lessons might be

What your soul lessons might be

What their soul lessons might be

For the moment, stay here

So that you have access to honesty

So that you have access to your own experience here


And while we know there is a lot of talk about letting go, moving on

Our observation is that most just find a place to stow it away

Where it will emerge later

Where it will emerge in other lifetimes

Where it will emerge in other lifeforms

Because energy does not go away

It can only be transformed


So the other piece here is to take away the timeframe

And this will be hugely unpopular with your friends and family

Take away the time frame for you to have resolved this hatred

Take away the filters for you to give voice


Now we will trust that if you are in the depth of alignment

Of honesty, of celebration of the intensity of your love

That this will not lead to violence

And that is a filter we would recommend you keep


Because beneath this hatred, is this mourning

Is this deep mourning of something you feel you’ve lost

And it is okay to lose


And while it may be true that nobody can take anything from you

Because you are whole and perfect and divine

In the moment, there is loss

Just as the tide recedes

Just as if you watch the cavernous coast

The water sucks out, leaving a void

Before it rises again

And that void does not think,

“This is unacceptable! I have to heal so that the water can come back in!”


And perhaps it’s also fair to say that the void

May not celebrate its loss

And the human mind perhaps has its own pathways

But the one thing the void can do is be with and accept its condition

It doesn’t try to improve it

And this is where some of the pain does come from

That you are feeling lost

That you are feeling shattered

That you are feeling void

That another person is full

And you are not


Now there is an “acceptable” time frame to feel this

And we have observed that it is very short

And remember that people don’t want to hear about your shortage

Because they are trying to hold on to their own fulness

It is as if sometimes, it may be contagious (laughs)

And certainly, people are exhausted

But part of what exhausts them is the lack of honesty

In the expression


And we believe that if you allow the hatred to simmer down

If you allow the water to drain from this ocean cavern

In that place, on the glistening rocks

You will see what is growing beneath there

What has grown

And those raw exposed places that have not seen the light in so long

And if you will settle into those

In honesty and truth

You will find the depth of your experience

And this is why it’s so important to be honest

Because each lifetime only gets so many moments to access these places

And if you cover them up

And if you notice only the emptiness

And not what is growing on the walls

You deny yourself the magnificence of your own experience


We hesitate to ask you to give them names

We invite you to simply sit with what’s growing

At the depths of this ocean cavern

And discover if this gentle way

Allows you any ease


And so, we hope you will see,

That if you occupy yourself in the swirling hatred

With simply trying to abate the hatred

That you will never get to the depths of who you are

And so we come back to that feeling of hatred

And say to you

Allow it

Embrace it

Be with it

Give voice to it


Although we know this will be unpopular


There are two ways that people seem to deal with these feelings

One is to spew from this high level

When the hatred is spinning,

And it has a sense of projectile energy

And the other is to deny it

So what we are inviting is for a richer experience


Find at least one trusted friend who will hear you

Let them know that you simply need them to hear you

And not give you suggestions for what to do

Hear you at that high volume level

And then give some space for what comes next

And next

And next

And know that this will keep happening (laughs)

This is cyclical

You cannot experience this depth

And have it be one and done


And we invite you to trust one sacred friendship

Or more

If you can spread it out

To share these depths with,

As they cycle through


We invite you to trust each other

We are not saying that it will go smoothly

But this is part of the journey

To the Heart Superhighway

To the place where you can see

And care about each other in truth

Without having to be one way or the other


So really what we’re suggesting is a sort of turbo-acceptance

No…that’s not the right word…

A thoughtful, loving, spacious, transmutation

Of those energies that would have you destroy yourself

And each other


You have this capacity

And you have someone in your life with that capacity

And you will need each other on this journey

Because it is not a journey to the mountaintop

It is a journey into the hearts of each other

So that the heart of all

Can experience the divine transmission

Of pure creation


And we come to you

From the Heart Center

Of the Heart Center

Of the Universe


We love you so








Sheila GallienComment