Can We Really Choose Who We Love?

Photo by  Melissa Askew  on  Unsplash

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash


Dear, sweet beloved, we are so happy you asked this question

The question, can we really choose who we love?

Can we really choose the quality of our relationships?


We’re going to try to make this a helpful answer because we know

There is so much that sounds good but doesn’t seem to really help


And so first we have to talk about love

And here is the thing about love

If love is perfect, love is whole, love is complete

Love is a place you live that when you’re in it, you have no other needs

And so the whole question of relationship in this context is really a moot point

Because relationships are not about love

And see there’s the rub

Relationships are not about love


Because you have all the love and the wholeness and the divine connection

That you would ever ever need

Because you ARE love

And you know that because you know when you live in that experience

nothing and no one can shake your love of life

Your love of yourself

Your love of everyone

Your forgiveness of all

You know that moment

That exquisite moment

When you are love

And no one can do any wrong

Just for that moment

But we know you’ve felt it

And THAT is love


And so relationships are not about love

And the trick is trying to bring that

As the goal, as the union

That you are trying to walk into this love

This notion of “falling” into love

(Which might be the best explanation, in a sense,

because you fall into that blissful state

When no one’s looking)

But we think it is still a misnomer


So relationships are not about love

So what are they about?


Well relationships are about creation

Because it’s from a place of love

It’s from this place of inspiration

That you connect and want to create with another

And you have a lot of stories about what you want to create

Based on what you’ve seen

Never has there been a time where so much has been entrenched

In images and writings and stories

And this cavalcade of ideas

Of the final destination of these relationships

And yet (laughing) how many do you know, if any

That resemble these stories that are told?


Even the most dynamic, successful-

And we define “successful” as those that are joyfully engaged in the process

Even were you to sit down with them

And unravel their experience

You would find so many different stories


Now the piece we’re going to tell you that’s true, but probably unhelpful

Is that the relationship is about the present

It’s the present reflection of where you’re at

And what you’re creating in that moment

And so in that way you have endless choices


But whether it’s the history of your species

Whether it’s the patterns of your hearts

Whether it’s the experience of your brains

Each of these moments of creation just seems to tip over

Like water that’s come to the edge of a waterfall

And beneath it are multiple rivulets

And so that water wants to fall and follow one of those rivulets

And how then do you command the water to become a cloud?

How then do you command the water to mix with the sun and become a rainbow?


And again we know that in practice

This will seem more challenging than in theory

But it is truly coming back in that moment

And seeing it for what it is

Seeing you for you

And them for them

And choosing how to experience that next moment

With an expanded consciousness

Or with curiosity

But you always have a chance to not go down one of the rivers

And so that’s just the relatively helpful

Relatively unhelpful


Of the dynamic of a relationship


So, really, your question is, can you choose a better relationship?

One in which the exploration is, perhaps, if this is what you want

Kinder? More conscious? More mutual?

The answer is unequivocally yes

But it will take an unflinching honesty

And that honesty comes from a place of presence

Not judgment

Let’s see if we can make that make sense

So the honesty is not, “He can never act the way I want him to act.”

The honesty is more like…

More like you are bands of light

Or vibrations


And in your experience with one another

You don’t see each other

Don’t vibrate together

But that love that you have when you embody love

Allows you to be whole with each other

And the truth is you have access to that love at any time

You can feel and surround yourself in this

Since it’s almost Easter

In this egg of loving vibration

And you can pass as ribbons

Within this wholeness

And still be love

No matter what your root connection

Feels like in your bodies


But if you want your partner

To also be one to initiate that consciousness

Then you have to choose that

You have to choose THAT as your definition of relationship

Because you already have love

You are already loved

And whomever you are with

Or estranged from

Has loved you


And so your definition is not a relationship built on love

But the desire to dance

To meet your beloved at that waterfall

And to know that you can become rainbows

So we invite you now to just

Fall into your own love


And back to the question

Can you choose who you love?

Can you choose the quality of your relationship?

When you live from the quality of your own vibration

Your own relationship

When you choose to meet your match at the edge of the waterfall

You absolutely will find that experience


And we come to you

From the Heart Center

Of the Heart Center

Of the Universe











Sheila GallienComment